OK, first things first.
Ash, mlove, i feel so bad about last night. it was just like.. bam. i couldnt argue or anything. so i didnt. i lost it for the next day. i feel awful, and deprived.
just...yeah. horrid. horrendous. hugly. if thats even a word, which im pretty sure its not.
i get nervous around auditions. i felt great at the last audition i did (all-state). so what do i do this time?? i die of my nerves.
oh, and i have been switching instruments almost daily for the past week or so. why? my horn died. the horn im playing on does not tongue, and does not allow for intonation, dynamic contrast, anything that we are basically being tested for. yeah. bull frickin shit.
my first piece, the prepared piece (which mr. folson was anidiot for choosing in the first place because not only did it not lend itself to the instrument, it could not even be considered musical! (im sorry- thats my opinion. And my private tutor's, and the other trombone's from my school and others, and assorted people who heard our piece being practiced.) does this piece go well? NOOO. why? they should have the piece in the room-- and they didnt!! so i got to, in my nervous state, play my prepared piece from memory. yippee. i die on the last 8-10 measures. i have to stop. not fun.
scales. by this point, i am a nervous 10-car pileup. seriously. i am seriously, visibly (not to mention audibly) shaking now. to quote ian and alex (yeah, i know, not something i do very often), "you didnt sound very... brian in there." yeah. this coming from ian and alex. now you understand.
chromatic. fine, till the top-most note. what happens now? my secondary trigger activates. what.the.f--k. translation-- everything i play is dropped by 1+1/2 steps. yeeeah.
sightreading was actually not that bad. not to the point that i should have played it, but its not something i would go into a dark corner and shoot myself over.
everything else just made me want to do that.
Tonights Christmas Concert:
not to par. kick it up a notch, yall. i didnt do great on my solo, but it was better than alot i heard. and i heard alot-- i was in every single piece. which ms. denham did NOT allow time to run between pieces for. yeah.
and im still not down. i must have more faith in my life than i thought. im a lot happier. God and Ashley, with them and my friends i can get through it, whatever "it" happens to be. i luv yall sooo much! <3 !
This year I've been busy!
Last Saturday I gave anodyne_telos a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points). In May I committed genocide... Sorry about that, bigpaintbalin42 (-5000 points). In March I turned elfchic49 in for spitting (3 points). In June I pulled embily718's hair (-5 points). In July I gave change to a homeless guy (19 points).
Overall, I've been naughty (-4988 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich!